Dating in the time of Coronavirus

We have a lot of restrictions in place at the moment to keep us all safe; keeping 2m apart, avoiding unnecessary travel, keeping close contact to households only. These restrictions are important to keep us all healthy but it’s also, unfortunately, meant that many people have been left alone or lonely during the lockdown. Many people have been turning to virtual dating. There are more than 1,500 dating apps or websites out there, like nostringsdating, so why not sign up and give it a go?

For people who enjoyed casual relationships before lockdown, the coronavirus outbreak has meant being cut off from potential meetups and a lack of social life which has impacted them physically and emotionally. I have heard that unsurprisingly a lack of sex and intimacy has led to an increase in sexts and nudes as well as a boon for the sex toy industry.

Some countries have shown more open-mindedness to the situation; I have seen official guidance from the Dutch National Institute for Public Health and the Environment (RIVM) suggests people without a permanent sexual partner come to mutually satisfactory agreements with like-minded individuals.

With online dating site Match recently having reported that users are now spending an average of seven hours a week dating online, it looks like social distancing hasn’t done much to dampen people’s desire to meet and connect during this time, with our need for human interaction is even greater at this time even if it is virtual.

To more insight into the issue of dating during lockdown I questioned some of my friends to get their thoughts:

My friend K has been messaging back and forth with a man she met on a dating app with the hope of meeting him at some point once the lockdown has been lifted. She says “if it doesn’t work the disappointment will be bigger because we have been texting for so long.” she went on to say, “I think we will get used to talking for much longer before we meet”.

Experts out there are saying that rather than just texting for weeks you should get on a voice call as soon as you can; if you can build up a rapport on the phone it will make it so much easier when you eventually meet them face to face and you will be less nervous.

K raises an interesting point, whereas before lockdown you might chat with a guy for a few days before arranging a meet up in person right now all we can really do is message and with lots of guys stating ‘not looking for a penpal’ does this mean it will be less likely to find someone during this time?

So what about setting up a virtual date? They don’t have to be boring! With modern technology, you can visit a virtual gallery, join a virtual book club or simply watch your favourite Netflix flick together via the chrome plugin Netflix Party.

N is in a relationship currently but spent time in the world of dating apps before finding her current boyfriend. She agrees with K and says “I think there will be more pressure as you’ll already know so much about someone and be invested before you’ve even met [this] might set yourself up for failure, or if you want to be romantic about it, allows you to get to know someone outside of the physical and become more emotionally connected” but she goes onto say “but even I don’t believe that!”

If you’re bored of texting why not embrace another way of communicating? eharmony has a new video dating function for exactly this, but you could also use Zoom, FaceTime or HouseParty make it easy to set up video calls for virtual face to face dates.

My friend E put together a lockdown metaphor for the situation: “Well, it’s like ordering alcohol on amazon right now. You resort to a brand you’re unfamiliar with on account of limited funds and availability, then have to wait 3 weeks for delivery; you live in hope”. E went on to say “When you finally sample it, it could be adequate… or it might kill your frontal lobe and half your taste buds, plus krank ur depression up a notch.”

When talking to my female friends, a pattern emerged with their answers. They all suggested that simply put, as all guys are looking for sex, it’s just a scale of how much conversion they’re willing to sit through right now when meeting up is not allowed.

To conclude this look at dating in a time of coronavirus, it looks like if you do want to find someone for a hook up on a sex dating site then times might be hard but if you’re looking more for a relationship then this time apart might be a great opportunity to get to know the other person before meeting up once this is all over.